Parking tickets

It's been a long time (shouldn't have left you), but it's time for another pop rant. KissFM totally has a section on their site called Ki$$ Ka$h Klub. Collar pulls for all! Let's get it.

James Blunt "You're Beautiful": I didn't think someone could out-limp Coldplay's new record, but this guy's got it covered. He's got nephews writing lyrics for him too. Weepy girls and high school proms are still stoked. It's almost not even fair to pick on something so simple and meant for lowest common denominator radio play. Whether or not Mr. Blunt knows it is besides the point.

Fort Minor, Holly Brook & Jonan Matranga "Where'd You Go": Whoa, phonecall. With the volume back up, it's evident I missed nothing. Mike Shinoda emo raps about his girl and her career (well shit, man, is it a surprise everyone wants you to quit your day job) with such clunk, Atmosphere is looking good (*shudder*).

Fall Out Boy "Dance Dance": Better than their newest single, but I'll be damned if I want to still hear it. Moving on.

Rihanna "S.O.S": The guys of Soft Cell are buying their significant others something expensive right now. Amazingly, I've actually had to point out the direct sample to people, "Oh yeah, I guess that is 'Tainted Love.'" What the fuck else does it sound like? Rihanna is a little sultry, if sleepy. She could sell it a little more, don't you think?

Daddy Yankee "Gasolina": Today it seems fair to brag about having gas; I know my broke ass doesn't. I could do without Lil' Jon screaming "skeet skeet skeet!" Now the djs are screaming about how their station is giving away free gas, blrg.

Ne-Yo "So Sick": I love the approach of this song: a sad song that isn't slow and mopey! The snaps on two and four, along with alternating bass drum push things along nicely. This is male-sung r&b's response to the rap airwaves. What a great adaptation.

All-American Rejects "Move Along": I don't know if I misheard this song before or if it's been remixed for radio play, but there are five or six unnecessary layers added. Instead of a straight forward pop rock song, it's got pointless echos and vocal exercises jammed inside. They even manage to fit a choir in the bridge, which is almost as gimmicky as "live" gang vocals. I'm glad dinner is ready, because this station sucks to listen to. If only Power92 was online...